I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
Ballet is the fairies' baseball.
What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.
A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first.
I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.
The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.