Only 10 percent of the people in the U.S. like dry wines. You shouldn't get down on people just because they like a little sugar.

Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.

Marijuana should be licensed and kept out of the hands of teenagers. It's too good for them.

I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.

It's tough campaigning, kissing hands and shaking babies.

We've got to step up our conservation efforts before it's too late. We're not protecting our lands and natural resources. Take the Grand Canyon for example; I'm sure that at one time it was a beautiful piece of land, and just look at the way we've let it go.

I think I'd make a pretty good president, and they have a great pension plan.