Many of you have asked why it's taken me so long to select a running mate. I have no intention of reaching into the political grab bag and grabbing any man to be my running mate. I'm going to reach in and grab a woman!

So I got into growing grapes, not realizing that there was a heck of a lot more to it than meets the eye.

Why should old people get [Social Security]? They just sit around all day doing nothing.

I'm often asked why I travel around the country talking politics. Is it for humanitarian reasons, community spirit, or is it for the money, the limousines or the girls? The answers are: no, no, yes yes yes!

Deep down, I happen to be very shallow.

I came down to Orange because I sold the Smothers Brothers a song called 'Chocolate,' and that gave me enough money to move down here. I was washing windows down in Orange County when they called me up and said they wanted me to do their TV show.

Marijuana should be licensed and kept out of the hands of teenagers. It's too good for them.