In opposition to sex education: Let the kids today learn it where we did - in the gutter.

Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.

We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman.

Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business.

The federal government spends millions to run the Postal Service. I could lose your mail for half of that.

Why should old people get [Social Security]? They just sit around all day doing nothing.

It's tough campaigning, kissing hands and shaking babies.