Amarillio, just turn to the left and 500 yards down

Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when your hand or head is stuck in something.

I might be collecting wheely bins in 12 months time but at least they'll be wheely bins outside back gates that I know, in a part of the country that I love. There's no place like home!

One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

Amarillio, just turn to the left and 500 yards down