You ever dip your biscuit in your tea and it breaks. I swear now, you never get used to that.

I'm not homophobic. I'm not scared of my house.

Garlic bread - it's the future, I've tasted it.

Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

Old women with mobile phones look wrong.

There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when your hand or head is stuck in something.

The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.