Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

Once my husband said to me, 'I'm going to have some coffee. Do you want me to put some hot water on for you?' I thought that was the least he could do considering I was giving birth.

I don't like to cook. I can make a TV dinner taste like radio.

I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.

We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.

If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.

Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss; we touch gloves.