All mothers are working mothers.

Comedy is tragedy revisited or hostility. It is mock hostility, of course, or it would be ugly; we would have a war.

Your husband drinks too much if he says he never drinks alone, but considers the goldfish somebody.

It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.

I was the world's ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads... I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said 'Grab the blade!

Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.

My sister-in-law is so skinny that she has a striped dress with only one stripe.