All mothers are working mothers.

One [expert] said, 'Always have a baby sitter who is acquainted with your children.' If they were acquainted with my children, they wouldn't sit!

Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition.

Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.

Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.

A friend told me the longer you keep Romano cheese, the better it gets. So, I kept it three years. And this thing turned mean. Now and then I'd open the refrigerator door and throw it some food. I'd have to walk it now and then. And then it grew this one leg. And it's got this ugly fuzz all over it. And the dogs won't run with it.

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!