I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!

I was the world's ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads... I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said 'Grab the blade!

A terrible thing happened to me last night again—nothing.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.

It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.

My doctor is a family physician. He treats my family and I support his.

Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.