I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!

My mother-in-law buys her coats in a carper shop. She wears a 9x12.

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.

On the way to the delivery room, I almost changed my mind about having a baby. I wouldn't have found it so hard to go ahead with it if I had realized that having a baby was the only way I could ever become a grandmother.

Remember there is no way you can give the father custody of the children without getting a divorce.

Comedy is tragedy revisited.

Next to gold and jewelry, health is the most important thing you can have.