When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!

Life began on this planet when the first amoeba split. Mankind will still be seeking God, not accepting that God is a spirit; can't see it, touch it, only feel it. It's called LOVE.

All mothers are working mothers.

Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, "A teaspoon before going to bed," and in one day he uses seven bottles.

For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.

My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.