I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?

It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.

They always say to Californians that we don't have seasons. Of course, that is not true. We have fire, flood, mud and drought.

I don't like to cook. I can make a TV dinner taste like radio.

Remember there is no way you can give the father custody of the children without getting a divorce.

If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.

Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, "A teaspoon before going to bed," and in one day he uses seven bottles.