Tennis is like marrying for money. Love has nothing to do with it.

All I ever learned at my mother's knee was what a bony knee looked like.

My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.

[On plastic surgery:] When I die, God won't know me. There are no two parts of my body the same age.

I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.

Isn't my fur stole pitiful? How unsuccessful can a girl look? People think I'm wearing anchovies. The worst of it is, I trapped these under my own sink.

Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition.