I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.
[On plastic surgery:] When I die, God won't know me. There are no two parts of my body the same age.
My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.
I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
If my jeans could talk, they'd plead for mercy.
Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.