My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.
Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.
Have you ever known anyone who bought a fruitcake for himself? Of course not. They are purchased as Christmas gifts, mostly for people you don't particularly like.
You know you're old when your walker has an airbag.
I met my husband when a friend sent him over to my house to cure my hiccoughs.
Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.