Your husband is lazy if coffee doesn't keep him awake - even when it's hot and being spilled on him.

Mothers-in-law do not make good house pets. Once I had the most wonderful dream -- I dreamed that mothers-in-law cost money and I couldn't afford one.

To get a roaster clean, send something like baked apples in it to a neighbor. Neighbors always return pans spotless, and you won't have to use a blow torch on it like you usually do.

It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.

I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.

I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good #book; or a friend who's #read one.

On the way to the delivery room, I almost changed my mind about having a baby. I wouldn't have found it so hard to go ahead with it if I had realized that having a baby was the only way I could ever become a grandmother.