Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition.

I was in a beauty contest once. I not only came in last, I was hit in the mouth by Miss Congeniality.

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, 'Who could have done this? We have no enemies!'

If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.

My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.

One [expert] said, 'Always have a baby sitter who is acquainted with your children.' If they were acquainted with my children, they wouldn't sit!

I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.