Remarrying a husband you've divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it.
Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.
Comedy is tragedy revisited.
The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
The reason I'm not an alcoholic is I don't like to drink in front of the kids . . . and when you're away from them, who needs it?.