Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.
Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, "A teaspoon before going to bed," and in one day he uses seven bottles.
I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.
You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.
My timing is so precise, a heckler would have to make an appointment just to get a word in.