I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.

I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, "You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed."

I got my first laugh when my mother entered me in a baby contest.

Comedy is tragedy revisited.

I'd love to slit my mother-in-law's corsets and watch her spread to death.

My body's in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.