[When to have a facelift:] If you're tripping over your neck.
I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.
Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.
I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then theyโd boo.
When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.