Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.
Remarrying a husband you've divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.
My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.
If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.