I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.

They just elected me Mis Phonograph Record of 1966. They discovered my measurements were 33 1/2, 45, 78!

I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.

Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.

Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.

I don’t want to sound like I’m on dope, but that hour is a high; it’s as good as you can feel. A wonderful, wonderful happiness, and great power.

When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.