When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.
How do you know they're growing up? Well, the bite marks are higher.
You know you're old when your walker has an airbag.
When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
When I go to bed at night, I've got so much grease on my body I wear snow chains to hold up my gown.