Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

I'd love to slit my mother-in-law's corsets and watch her spread to death.

Right from the start my parents had left me to fend for myself. Apparently unaware that I was a kid, they invariably treated me like an adult, perhaps because they themselves were no spring chickens.

Next to gold and jewelry, health is the most important thing you can have.

I got my first laugh when my mother entered me in a baby contest.

You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.

I'm the woman who used to think that middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.