If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
No matter what time your guests arrive, pretend they're early, so naturally you're not ready.
If my jeans could talk, they'd plead for mercy.
Comedy is tragedy revisited.
Right from the start my parents had left me to fend for myself. Apparently unaware that I was a kid, they invariably treated me like an adult, perhaps because they themselves were no spring chickens.
I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.