If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.

get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.

Mothers-in-law do not make good house pets. Once I had the most wonderful dream -- I dreamed that mothers-in-law cost money and I couldn't afford one.

When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.

Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, "A teaspoon before going to bed," and in one day he uses seven bottles.

Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.

My sister was so promiscuous she broke her ankle in the glove compartment of a car.