If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.

I'm the woman who used to think that middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.

If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.

Think of me as a sex symbol for the men who don't give a damn.

I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.