They always say to Californians that we don't have seasons. Of course, that is not true. We have fire, flood, mud and drought.

Think of me as a sex symbol for the men who don't give a damn.

For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.

I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.

A passport picture is a photo of a man that he can laugh at without realizing that it looks exactly the way his friends see him.

Some wives have model husbands, I got one that needed remodeling.

I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.