They always say to Californians that we don't have seasons. Of course, that is not true. We have fire, flood, mud and drought.

It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.

When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning.

Doctors say it's okay to have sex after a heart attack, provided you close the ambulance door.

Comedy is tragedy revisited.

If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.