I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning.

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.

Everybody knows how much time Fang spends in bed. A local store that gives a 30 days' trial on mattresses gives Fang only 15 days.

It's a certain kind of immortality, because those Disney films do go on and on and on.

When I go to bed at night, I've got so much grease on my body I wear snow chains to hold up my gown.

My husband is so useless that it's hard for me to be romantic with him. I get down on the floor and say, If you love me, blink your eyes.