Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss; we touch gloves.

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head.

I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, "You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed."

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.

I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.

A passport picture is a photo of a man that he can laugh at without realizing that it looks exactly the way his friends see him.

My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.