I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
Phyllis DillerMy timing is so precise, a heckler would have to make an appointment just to get a word in.
Phyllis DillerWhen you hire a person to plan your wedding, this does not include securing the groom. Plan to get married on Friday the 13th. In years to come this will make it much easier to explain why things turned out badly. To look beautiful at your wedding, take time to plan it. It took me a long time to find two ugly bridesmaids and a frumpy little flower girl.
Phyllis Diller