I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.

The reason I'm not an alcoholic is I don't like to drink in front of the kids . . . and when you're away from them, who needs it?.

Your husband is lazy if coffee doesn't keep him awake - even when it's hot and being spilled on him.

My doctor is a family physician. He treats my family and I support his.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.

Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.

It's hard to find a negligee in my size. I wear a Junior Mister.