Next to gold and jewelry, health is the most important thing you can have.

I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch."

Never refer to your wedding night as the original amateur hour.

Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.

I'm the woman who used to think that middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.

It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.