Keep at least one window pane clean to check the weather. Once when I didn't do this I sent the kids off with umbrellas for six weeks straight.
Phyllis DillerYour husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, "A teaspoon before going to bed," and in one day he uses seven bottles.
Phyllis DillerI'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate.
Phyllis Diller