By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch."

My husband is so useless that it's hard for me to be romantic with him. I get down on the floor and say, If you love me, blink your eyes.

The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.

Life began on this planet when the first amoeba split. Mankind will still be seeking God, not accepting that God is a spirit; can't see it, touch it, only feel it. It's called LOVE.

My sister was so promiscuous she broke her ankle in the glove compartment of a car.

We named all our children Kid. Well, they have different first names, like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . .