self-pity is better than none.
Once Fang took pep pills and they worked - the only time he ever ran to bed.
[When to have a facelift:] If you're tripping over your neck.
I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
They just elected me Mis Phonograph Record of 1966. They discovered my measurements were 33 1/2, 45, 78!
It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.