Keep at least one window pane clean to check the weather. Once when I didn't do this I sent the kids off with umbrellas for six weeks straight.

I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.

When I go to bed at night, I've got so much grease on my body I wear snow chains to hold up my gown.

You want to look younger... rent smaller children.

I am constantly being asked about individuals. The only way to win is as a team. Football is not about one or two or three star players.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

When he proposed he said, "We'll make such beautiful music together," but in this duet, his part seems to be all rests.