On the way to the delivery room, I almost changed my mind about having a baby. I wouldn't have found it so hard to go ahead with it if I had realized that having a baby was the only way I could ever become a grandmother.

My sister was so promiscuous she broke her ankle in the glove compartment of a car.

For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.

When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. Sometimes I just go for an estimate.

Too many comics today ramble. By the time they get to the punch line, the audience has either gone to sleep, gone to the bathroom or gone to bed.

I never made `Who's Who,' but I'm featured in `What's That?'

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch."