My doctor is a family physician. He treats my family and I support his.

Mothers-in-law do not make good house pets. Once I had the most wonderful dream -- I dreamed that mothers-in-law cost money and I couldn't afford one.

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.

My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.

I am constantly being asked about individuals. The only way to win is as a team. Football is not about one or two or three star players.

My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.