I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.

It's hard to find a negligee in my size. I wear a Junior Mister.

Have you ever known anyone who bought a fruitcake for himself? Of course not. They are purchased as Christmas gifts, mostly for people you don't particularly like.

Have the man at the station put the air in the tires. I did it once myself. Have you ever seen a car with a limp?

Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss; we touch gloves.

You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!

My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle