I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.

My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.

Just the other day I said to Fang, "Don't you think we've got a storybook romance?" and he said, "Yes, and every page is ripped.

It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.