Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.

We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch."

You want to look younger... rent smaller children.

My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.

All mothers are working mothers.

I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.