Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.

I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good #book; or a friend who's #read one.

Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.

It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.

Keep at least one window pane clean to check the weather. Once when I didn't do this I sent the kids off with umbrellas for six weeks straight.

Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.

Isn't my fur stole pitiful? How unsuccessful can a girl look? People think I'm wearing anchovies. The worst of it is, I trapped these under my own sink.