It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.

My husband is so useless that it's hard for me to be romantic with him. I get down on the floor and say, If you love me, blink your eyes.

The doctor looked my body over. I said: Is there any hope? He said: Yes. Reincarnation.

I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.

Tennis is like marrying for money. Love has nothing to do with it.

No matter what time your guests arrive, pretend they're early, so naturally you're not ready.

To get a roaster clean, send something like baked apples in it to a neighbor. Neighbors always return pans spotless, and you won't have to use a blow torch on it like you usually do.