I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.

I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, 'Who could have done this? We have no enemies!'

I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.

This man I was going with asked me for my finger measurements. I thought he was going to buy me a ring for Christmas, but he gave me a bowling ball.

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood.

If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.