We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.

I'm the woman who used to think that middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.

My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.

I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.