We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.

On the way to the delivery room, I almost changed my mind about having a baby. I wouldn't have found it so hard to go ahead with it if I had realized that having a baby was the only way I could ever become a grandmother.

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!

My doctor is a family physician. He treats my family and I support his.

When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, 'Who could have done this? We have no enemies!'

Oh, that dog! Ever hear of a German Shepherd that bites its nails? Barks with a lisp? You say, "Attack!" And he has one. All he does is piddle. He's nothing but a fur-covered kidney that barks.