Remember there is no way you can give the father custody of the children without getting a divorce.

It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.

I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn't show the dirt.

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish.

Oh, that dog! Ever hear of a German Shepherd that bites its nails? Barks with a lisp? You say, "Attack!" And he has one. All he does is piddle. He's nothing but a fur-covered kidney that barks.

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!