Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, 'I'll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,' never ends in a hug and a kiss.
Phyllis DillerI love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?
Phyllis DillerWould you believe that I once entered a beauty contest? I must have been out of my mind. I not only came in last, I got 361 get-well cards.
Phyllis Diller