I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, "You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed."

Everybody knows how much time Fang spends in bed. A local store that gives a 30 days' trial on mattresses gives Fang only 15 days.

I don’t want to sound like I’m on dope, but that hour is a high; it’s as good as you can feel. A wonderful, wonderful happiness, and great power.

I'd love to slit my mother-in-law's corsets and watch her spread to death.

Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.

To get a roaster clean, send something like baked apples in it to a neighbor. Neighbors always return pans spotless, and you won't have to use a blow torch on it like you usually do.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.