If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.
I'm the woman who used to think that middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.
Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.
When I go to bed at night, I've got so much grease on my body I wear snow chains to hold up my gown.
When he proposed he said, "We'll make such beautiful music together," but in this duet, his part seems to be all rests.
You've got to realize that when all goes well, and everything is beautiful, you have no comedy. It's when somebody steps on the bride's train, or belches during the ceremony that you've got comedy!