How do you know they're growing up? Well, the bite marks are higher.

Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.

I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.

You want to look younger... rent smaller children.

Have you ever known anyone who bought a fruitcake for himself? Of course not. They are purchased as Christmas gifts, mostly for people you don't particularly like.

Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.

Next to gold and jewelry, health is the most important thing you can have.