My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch."

Once my husband said to me, 'I'm going to have some coffee. Do you want me to put some hot water on for you?' I thought that was the least he could do considering I was giving birth.

I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, "You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed."

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood.

Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.