My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked.
Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.
I met my husband when a friend sent him over to my house to cure my hiccoughs.
My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.
[On plastic surgery:] When I die, God won't know me. There are no two parts of my body the same age.
If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.