self-pity is better than none.
I never made `Who's Who,' but I'm featured in `What's That?'
My body's in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.
Carry an oar when you drive. Three times I've ended up in water.
The only parts left of my original body are my elbows.
One [expert] said, 'Always have a baby sitter who is acquainted with your children.' If they were acquainted with my children, they wouldn't sit!