I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies.

On the way to the delivery room, I almost changed my mind about having a baby. I wouldn't have found it so hard to go ahead with it if I had realized that having a baby was the only way I could ever become a grandmother.

My timing is so precise, a heckler would have to make an appointment just to get a word in.

Before you get married you should meet your fiance's parents. It is not enough that you like his parole officer.

Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, "A teaspoon before going to bed," and in one day he uses seven bottles.

When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.

I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.