My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.
Keep at least one window pane clean to check the weather. Once when I didn't do this I sent the kids off with umbrellas for six weeks straight.
If my jeans could talk, they'd plead for mercy.
Next to gold and jewelry, health is the most important thing you can have.
Never go to bed angry, stay up and fight.
My body's in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.