Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood.

It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

You want to look younger... rent smaller children.

Doctors say it's okay to have sex after a heart attack, provided you close the ambulance door.

I never made `Who's Who,' but I'm featured in `What's That?'

I don’t want to sound like I’m on dope, but that hour is a high; it’s as good as you can feel. A wonderful, wonderful happiness, and great power.