Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood.

I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.

When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.

My mother-in-law buys her coats in a carper shop. She wears a 9x12.

I am constantly being asked about individuals. The only way to win is as a team. Football is not about one or two or three star players.

[On plastic surgery:] When I die, God won't know me. There are no two parts of my body the same age.

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.