Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.

You know you're old when your walker has an airbag.

I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.

Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.

I'm the woman who used to think that middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.

You want to look younger... rent smaller children.

It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.