Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.

If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.

Comedy is tragedy revisited or hostility. It is mock hostility, of course, or it would be ugly; we would have a war.

To get a roaster clean, send something like baked apples in it to a neighbor. Neighbors always return pans spotless, and you won't have to use a blow torch on it like you usually do.

Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.

Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.

When I go to bed at night, I've got so much grease on my body I wear snow chains to hold up my gown.