Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.

I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.

Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.

[On plastic surgery:] When I die, God won't know me. There are no two parts of my body the same age.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.

If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.